Almost Identical Twins
by JulieArchery107
Summary: Tony has been having wired dreams about his father begging forgiveness from a, seemingly unreal, other son, ever since the last anniversary of the man's passing. He thinks nothing of them, dismissing them as nothing but dreams, but begins to question that when he meets Gotham City's golden boy, Bruce Wayne. Who seems to have character traits to similar to his, to be a coincident.
1. Chapter 1

"Almost Identical Twins."

Chapter 1

"Ruler of ALMOST the whole world."

"Good morning, JARVIS." Tony Stark said in the middle of a solid yawn, while walking down the stairs in his blue pajamas and pink bunny slippers.

The head of 'Stark Industries' looked as if he hadn't slept all night despite his efforts to hide it. His normally bright blue eyes underlined with black circles and his already messy, black hair being all the more messy than usual.

"Good morning, Master Tony." The loyal computer replied, preparing some food for his clearly sleep-deprived master. "The nightmare again, Master Tony?" JARVIS asked as he watched his creator sat down in a chair and began chewing on a spoonful of cereal.

His master has been experiencing strange dreams that kept sleep off his eyes, ever since the last anniversary of the elder Starks departure from the world of living.

The playboy sighted and rubbed a hand over his exhausted face. "I don't even know why I'm so scared of it, JAR." He admitted looking up at the computer butler. "It's just my dad speaking nonsense to me before he dies. No spooky monsters, gloomy shadows or even mad rubber duckies." Tony then jabbed his spoon into the bowl full of milk, in frustration. "It peeves me that is scares me so much now, when back then it didn't leave much of an impression." The billionaire snorted before swallowing down another spoonful of colorful hula-hoops. "And the stuff he says are not spooky either. It's just typical 'hallucinating-dyeing-father' talk, you always have in that situation."

"Did he same things as in the earlier dreams?" The program asked gently.

Tony nodded his head and reached out for his cup of coffee. "Yeah kept babbling about some sort of 'second son', begging him for forgiveness for sending him away." The billionaire cringed at the sour taste of the dark liquid. "But, like I said, it's just a stupid dream made of a memory from long ago. It's probably my brains way of saying: 'Yo, Stark. Ya are screwed up.'" He then looked back at the butler. "That's it, right? I mean, I would _know_ if I had a twin brother, right?"

"Most certainty, Master Tony." The program replied, faithfully.

Reassured, the billionaire playboy returned to his coffee. "I just wonder why it keeps coming back, though." He mused. "Not to mention the fact that I always wake up shaken from it, _despite_ it not being scary at all!" Tony then mumbled under his breath: "At least with the mad rubber duckies, I would have an excuse."

"Perhaps it just the stress of being a billionaire playboy, a local superhero as well as a head of a rather large company, catching up to you, sire." JARVIS suggested, taking away the dishes once the man was finished.

Stark sighted and nodded his head, agreeing. "I think you're right, JAR. It's not easy being me, having so many jobs and all…I actually might need a vacation." He then slammed his hands on the plastic table. "But that will come _after_ I finish colonizing the world with my shops and products." Tony said in a loud, commanding voice "JARVIS, show me the map of our beloved Mother Earth with everything I own on it. Let's see if my name is known all over the globe." He added rubbing his palms together.

The computer hummed as a large hologram of the planet Earth appeared in the middle of the large, white table with tiny, orange dots covering most of the inhabitable space.

"Good…good." Iron Man said smiling as he walked around the hologram, enjoying his creation. His company had its own building in every part of the world. Even in those where people don't know how to spell their names correctly yet, and his was proud of it. Particularly because the mayors of those places build schools after his own name.

He kept on smiling until he spotted a rather large dark spot on the map, not decorated in even one orange spot.

"JARVIS."

"Yes, Sire?"

"Why is this place so dark?" He asked, glaring at said space. "I thought we had departments ALL over the globe."

"That, Master Tony, is Gotham City and, if my memory cord serves me correctly, we didn't get permission to 'colonize', as you like to call it, because most of the land is owned by a fellow billionaire, Bruce Wayne who the magazines call, 'The Prince of Gotham'."

Tony's eyes narrowed. "Looks like Pepper was right, we billionaires _really_ don't like to share." He then eyed the city with a critical eye. "That won't do. This place is populated well enough for the both of us to have profit. I see no reason why we can't share the same territory and I want my name on at least _one_ of those skyscrapers. Preferably the one taller than Wayne Tower."

"Our agents have been unsuccessful in persuading your fellow colleague into allowing 'Stark Enterprises', into Gotham's market." The butler informed. "Perhaps you yourself will have more luck, Master Tony?"

Iron Man's eyes narrowed in thought.

He heard some terrible things about that city, its hero 'The Batman' as well as the place's golden boy, Wayne and everything he went through, before he became head of his company. It really wasn't a nice place to live in, being called the 'Capital of Crime' for a reason, but had a lot of wealthy people with healthy purses, ready to buy whatever was on the shop shelves.

It was simply a crime to miss such a golden opportunity.

"JARVIS, prepare my private plane and arrange a meeting with Bruce Wayne." The playboy commanded heading towards his room. "It's time Iron Man meet the Prince of Gotham."


	2. Chapter 2

"Almost Identical Twins."

Chapter 2

"Reaching Gotham."

"Woah, Gotham really _is_ the 'Grand City of Crime'." Tony Star said, looking out the window of his private jet. "And here I thought the magazines always exaggerated."

The city below him looked more like a city of vampires. Always dark as night no matter how many lights there are on the streets, or how sunny the day is. It was the exact opposite of the famous Metropolis, the city of Earth's mightiest hero, Superman.

Iron Man snorted. _'Earths Mightiest Hero', my ass._ He added with a sneer.

 _Where was_ Superman _and his precious_ Justice League _, when Loki was attacking our planet with an army of man killing aliens?_ Tony narrowed his eyes at the Wayne tower sticking out from between the smaller buildings, like a big, black sore thumb. _Oh, that's right. In the exact place the X-men, Spiderman, Black Panther, Wasp, Deadpool and the Fantastic Four decided to hide in that day. The 'Nowhere-to-be-found' land._ He then growled at Gotham in general, since the people who deserved to be scowled are, of course, not around to receive the lecture. _And they all disappeared in the same time to. I'm actually starting to think they had a super-party while_ we _, the REAL heroes, did the dirty job for them. Lazy_

"Not the 'Daily Planet' my, good sir." The pilot answered, pulling the billionaire out of thought. "The reporters are paid extra by their boss for telling the truth, and the truth alone. And, considering that it's owned by Bruce Wayne, they get payed rather well."

Tony sneered.

"I wouldn't be surprised if you said he owns _everything_ in the city." He glared at the Wayne tower still visible before him. "This should be called _Waynenopolis_ not _Gotham_."

"Well, he doesn't own _everything,_ per se." The man steering, replied. "But he _did_ build the 'Watchtower'. A giant spaceship where the Justice League have their headquarters."

Iron Man whistled, remembering how big the thing was once Fury showed him and the rest of the Avengers, during a meeting.

"That thing must have cost a fortune." He thought out loud, stroking his beard thoughtfully. "More than my little satellite, LUCY, that's for sure." Thought that didn't mean he couldn't build himself a bigger one, anytime he wants. Quite the opposite, actually.

"It did, Master Stark." The driver said, turning the jet to the left. "Some of us are still amazed he remained rich, after that colossus was finished. That thing drunk up money, like a hungry leach."

"I can imagine." Iron Man nodded pressing his nose into the glass, trying to see the satellite in the dark sky. "And, speaking about the Justice League, aren't _they_ a lazy bunch." He twisted around to watch the Wayne tower, disappear from sight. "Didn't do _shit_ when Loki attacked New York with that alien army of his." He growled at the poster of Superman hanging from the nearest billboard. "Not that we _needed_ them or anything." He quickly clarified. "But we _could have_ used the help of a few of the Leaguers, like 'Mr. Every-power-ever-imagined-in-my-pinky' for example."

"Ah, I forgot you are also the famous 'Iron Man', Master Stark." The pilot laughed. "But you can't really blame the league for not coming, Sir. They had their own problems to take care of." The man pressed a few buttons and the little lights on the wings of the small jet, began to blink with yellow and orange lights. "The day those aliens attacked New York, the League was trying to take down a guy called, Vandal Savage. An immortal cave man who tried to take over the world by killing off all the superheroes, using special plans that preyed on their biggest weakness." The man quickly explained, seeing the confused look on the billionaire's face. "Almost succeeded to. Took down Superman, GL and Martian Manhunter like it was child's play. "

"Wow." Iron Man nodded, stroking his small, black beard. "The guy really must be something special, if he could take down the strongest members of the JL." That cave man sounded like someone just as dangerous as Loki, someone not to take lightly. "Must have observed them for a long time too, if he knew precisely where to hit, to hurt them the most."

"Oh, the credit of forming the annihilation plans of the world's mightiest heroes, doesn't go to Vandal Savage." The man clarified once more. "The guy who made them was, Batman." Tony's eyebrows nearly hit the roof, after hearing that information. "The cave guy just figured out how to make his way into the batcave, pass all the super computer security in the Bat's computer and steal the info he wants."

"So the big, bad bat doesn't trust even his own colleagues." Iron Man thought out loud. _Interesting…_ "That was kind of… _bitchy._ " He summed it up.

Bats shouldn't have done that, but Iron Man understood why he did. It was good to have precautions.

He himself trusts the good doctor Banner with his life, but that doesn't mean he has about a dozen of Hulkbusters just in case.

"Yeah…I guess so…" The man answered awkwardly. "Most of us normal people understand why he did it, though."

"Really?" Tony raised an eyebrow. "How so?"

The driver shrugged.

"There were countless occasions where one of the stronger leaguers, got mind controlled by Lex Luthor or Poison Ivy." He stated. "In all of those situations, it was Bats who had to face off against them, along with the others. I can't remember a single time when _he_ was the one being controlled." Another few buttons were pushed and Tony could feel the wheels of the air transport, moving out. "He's like the smartest guy the league can offer, so it's obvious he learned his lesson and decided to make precautions, in case it happens again." He snorted. "To bad the league can't see the obvious point as to why he made those plans. They kicked him out the minute Savage was behind bars. Idiots."

Iron Man was impressed by the man's understanding of the situation and envied the Batman his loyal followers in Gotham.

If _he_ was the one who made up plans to deactivate the Avengers, he'd have the entire S.H.I.E.L.D agency as well as an entire fleet of angry fans, on his doorstep.

Sometimes he regrets informing the world of his secret identity with all his new fans storming his home, wanting to get an autograph. But if that situation above _ever happened_ in real life, they'd turn his little heaven, into _hell_.

There was a delicate thump as the plane landed on the specially built landing field, near a great, big mansion.

"Well, looks like it's your stop, Mister Stark." The pilot sighted and the doors to Tony's left opened with a quiet hiss. "It's been a pleasure driving you here, Sire." He added sincerely, nodding his head to the billionaire.

"Likewise, pilot." Iron Man smiled as he climbed out of his seat. "Oh and I left you my autograph on a piece of candy paper." He grinned. "It's in the plastic cup, so don't throw it away!"

He heard the man laugh before the door closed completely.

Taking in the fresh air, the richest man in NYC turned around to be met with an elderly butler.

"Master Stark, I presume?" The man asked with a thick British accent.

"In the flesh." The billionaire answered with a grin. "Wanna autograph?" He asked clicking his pen.

"Certainly, sir. But, perhaps you can grace me with you signature _after_ your meeting with, Master Bruce?" The man declined politely, before leading the billionaire towards the house. "My master dose not appreciate it when his guest come late, Master Stark. He tends to be quite _grumpy_ when it happens."

"I like you, butler. You remind me of my helper, JARVIS." Tony said with a chuckle. "Say, where can I get a butler like you? Or better, where did _Wayne_ get a guy like you? It better not be 'E-Bay'."

"Master Wayne never _got_ me, Master Stark." The elder man answered, seriously. "I came with the house."

Iron Man was chuckling the whole way towards the meeting.


	3. Chapter 3

"Almost Identical Twins."

Chapter 3

"The playboy that can fight."

Once he entered the big, spooky-looking mansion, Tony had to admit he was mesmerized at the mere size of this building, as well as its old-school design and furniture. It made him feel like he's entering a giant castle, like Disneyland, and is about to meet the king.

"So…Alfred, yes?" He asked, poking at some old-looking statue on the hallway.

"That is correct, Master Stark." The loyal butler kindly replied, gently moving the playboy's fingers away from the expensive artefact. "No touchy." He added, patting the younger man's hand on emphasis.

"Where does your boss buy all these old-school stuff?" Tony asked, looking at all the expensive carpets and paintings, decorating the golden colored walls. "Shouldn't half of those be in a museum, or something?"

"Those 'old-school stuff' as you call them, Master Stark had once belonged to Master Bruce's grand-grand-grand-grandfather." Alfred kindly explained. "Who purchased them when they weren't worth everything he owned, from artist that were begging for money to buy food, at the time."

Tony nodded his head, whistling.

"Nice… You know, my parents never invested in such thing. They were more concerned about being "new" with all the technology and culture stuff, and pretty much only had contact with historic artifacts when they donated a few bucks to the museum of the Second World War." He admitted with a small chuckle. "Yeah…my old folks only gazed forward, never looking back at the history that let them become rich, famous and…well… _rich_ basically." He said, a sad smile playing on his face.

"Martha and Thomas wanted their son to grow up in an educational and cultured environment." The elderly butler explained. "Surrounding him with paintings with the signatures of the most famous artists in the world, was only the first step. Along came statues, old films, inventions and architecture plans that have been purchased by the descendants of the Wayne family, since its humble beginning. All took their rightful place inside the young master's room, where they watched over him even when he was but a wee baby."

Again the New Yorker billionaire whistled, imagining all the trauma the tiny Bruce Wayne had to go through being watched by the 'Scream' painting and its friends, since his early years.

He also silently thanked his parents for decorating his walls with 'Loony Toons' characters and wacky 'Donald Duck' scenes, instead of scaring him shirtless like Bruce's parents did.

As he walked through the hallways towards the room in which he was to meet the Crown Prince of Gotham, the billionaire noticed that a lot of the Wayne family was portrayed on the walls surrounding him. Beginning with the supposed creator of the clan Victor and his wife Teresa, and ending with the last descendants, Martha and Thomas.

Apparently you had to be married and have a born heir, in order to have your portrait on the 'Wayne Hall of Fame', since Bruce wasn't among the elder members of his clan.

Tony looked at all the serious faces that were scowling at him from the wooden frames, as if he was a small child that was spotted with his hand in the cookie jar, and imagined just how tiring it probably was for them to keep making the same facial expression every time they went to the painter.

He cringed.

That must have been _hell_ for the facial muscles.

Again he thanked his parents for not taking the same way of tradition and forcing him to face the angry, disappointed glares of his ancestors, every time he went to the toilet.

The only ones who seemed to break the 'look-stern-and-super-serious' routine were his fellow billionaire's parents.

Martha and Thomas were _smiling_ at the iron hero with twinkling eyes and cheeks red from laughter, creating a nice, unique change to the harsh glares of the other family members.

"Isn't that a bit wired that our moms have the same name?" Tony asked out of the sudden, still looking at the beautiful woman from the portrait, whose beauty could rival that of his own mother. "I mean…Martha might _not_ be the most unique name out there, but two of the richest men alive having to share mother names? It seems a bit unlikely." He then chuckled. "The only way to make this even _more_ ridiculously unlikely, is for _Superman's_ earth mom to have the same name." Tony then turned to Alfred with a serious look on his face. "She doesn't, does she?"

"I'm afraid I do not possess the information you seek, Master Stark." The elderly butler informed him, while he turned the doorknob to the room they were due to enter. "Superman isn't very liked in this part of the world, ever since he threw out Gotham's hero out of his own Spaceship. If you want that kind of information I suggest you go ask Lois Lane in Metropolis or the other option who seems to know everything about everyone."

Tony smirked.

"You mean the Bat?"

Alfred smiled a small smile and nodded.

Iron Man chuckled.

"Figured he'd be the one who know. Wouldn't be surprised if he knew who assassinated J.F Kennedy." He joked, winking at the graying butler. "The problem is…the flying rat doesn't give his phone number to just about anyone."

"Oh I wouldn't worry about that, Master Stark." Alfred smiled. "I'm sure he'll find you." He then opened the door and Tony Stark was met with a scene taken straight from one of the ninja movies, he likes to watch with Thor and Clint.

Twenty something ninjas, armored with katanas, sais, nunchucks, bo-staffs and kunai knives, were surrounding a single shinobi, armed with a single tanto sword, with a blue ribbon tied around his elbow and a cloth tied around his eyes.

For a moment no one moved, stilling the moment like a paused video, and for a split second it was so quiet Iron Man forgot how to breathe.

Then, on an unspoken command, the surrounding ninjas attacked simultaneously, like a well-oiled machine of death, moving faster than any of those actors in the movies Clint enjoys so much.

The fight was going on so quickly Tony had to make himself stop blinking entirely, to avoid missing all the good parts.

And was shocked at what he saw.

The surrounded ninja moved with the grace and style that could rival that of Steve Rogers, looked to possess training that would put Black Widow to shame, his speed in throwing punches and kicks seemed equal to that of boxer on caffeine and a calculated mind that could give any chess master, a run for his money.

He predicted every move his opponents threw at him, without being able to _see._ Always being three steps ahead from his opponents. Looked to be winning _despite_ the disadvantage of being outnumbered and outclassed when it came to weaponry.

And, like in true ninja style, the battle was over in mere minutes, with the attacking ninjas all laying on the ground, beaten and groaning, and the blind sighted ninja standing in a battle position.

 _Now this_ , Tony though as he forced his mouth to close. _Is what I call a perfect candidate for the Avengers_.

He only wondered which one of the poor _padawan learners_ was the Gotham Prince, since he seemed to come in the middle of a martial arts practice that the fellow playboy filled his free time with.

"Training successful, Master Wayne?" Alfred suddenly asked and Tony looked around the defeated grunts for a groan as a response, or at least a moan.

What came instead surprised him more than the fact that he survived the end of Loki's invasion.

"Appears so, Alfred." The surrounded ninja answered, pulling off the typical ninja mask and reveling the most popular face in all of Gotham. "I still need to correct my elbows, they have the tendency of slipping. And my reaction time and footwork could be a lot better. Other than that, I think I'm progressing satisfactory."

"I'm glad you're getting better, Master Wayne." The old butler smiled at his young master. "But I'm afraid your training session needs to be cut short. You have a guest."

"Ah yes." Bruce said, wiping his hair with a fresh towel. "Mister Stark from New York. To what do I owe this unexpected visit?"

Tony never stopped staring.


	4. Chapter 4

"Almost Identical Twins."

Chapter 4

"Of cookies and vampire cities."

Bruce laughed at the shocked/impressed look on Tony's face, as he continued to wipe his hair clean.

"Come now, Mister Stark." He added lowering the towel to his shoulders and running a hand over his ruffled hair. "Surely my little stunts couldn't be more impressive than what you see every day in the _Avengers_ training room, performed by your respected colleagues." The taller black haired billionaire smirked taking a sip of water from the bottle Alfred casually passed to him, happy to render the babbling fellow genius speechless.

Tony blinked once, breaking away from his uncharacteristic lack of ability to properly speak, and regenerated his infamous shit-eating smile while holding out his hand for Wayne to shake.

"Oh I don't know, Wayne." The Iron Man had to try _very hard_ not to flinch at the strong grip that nearly crushed his hand. It was like the first time _Thor_ shook his hand, the friendly demigod's incredible strength nearly placing his entire waving-limb in a casket. "It's not every day I see a normie just like me, beat up a bunch of highly-trained ninjas without breaking so much a sweat."

"Really?" Bruce's dark brow went up at that. "What about the Black Widow or that archer, Hawkeye? As far as I know they're both as normal as we are."

Tony snorted loudly.

" _Please_. Barton probably drank in the techniques of proper bullseye throwing, along with his mother's _milk_ and BW is _Russian_. That automatically makes her badass, immune to pain and tough as nails." The billionaire waved his hand dismissively. "The S.H.I.E.L.D training only _heightened_ those natural abilities." He smiled his shit-eating smile again. "We, on the other hand, are simple lazy, yet genius, orphan billionaires who like to play with daddy's fortune a bit too much."

Bruce laughs at that, clearly amused.

"Yeah." He agrees with a smirk plastered on his face. "I suppose we are."

"But seriously though, what you pulled off back there…boy let me tell you that was _impressive_." Stark's voice rang with serenity. "I'm used to see _Capsicle_ pull off some major 'jaw-to-the-flor' stunts and take on more enemies than his frozen brain should be able to count, but to see the same type of stunts performed by someone that's _not_ a guy pumped up with super-soldier serum with a ridiculous indestructible Frisbee, is pretty amazing."

This time Tony was rewarded by a small, yet genuine, smile.

"I thank you for the complement, Master Stark-"

"*cough* *cough* _Tony_. *cough* *cough*" The elder billionaire coughed, cutting the younger off.

"-Tony," the bat was in a good mood today. "But, as much as I'd like to sit around and listen to you gaping at my abilities, I can tell this is not the real reason you came to see me this faithful day." Of course it isn't, it never is with people like them. There is always something beneath the underneath, he didn't have to be batman to know that.

The fellow billionaire modeled his face in a typical child-like pout, hearing this.

"Really, Brucie you wound me. Who would have thought that someone with such a vast reputation of being a _playboy_ , could be such a _party-pooper?"_ Tony stated accusingly. "Here I am going _profoundly_ out of my way to _complement_ your awesome fighting skills of awesomeness, which I don't do very often mind you usually I do the total opposite of complementary followed by something that would make the local flying blue Boy Scout blush like a tomato, and you just _had_ to drop the curtains and destroy my highest 'I-am-not-a-asshole-to-a-person-from-the-moment-I-set-my-eyes-on-them' record!" Iron Man cried out in a dramatic pose, earning an amused eyebrow raise from Bruce. "And I was doing so well too!" Tony continued, sounding heart-wrenched. "Five more points and Pepper would give me a cookie!"

Hiding a chuckle the son of Martha and Thomas Wayne made, what Tony called the 'Home Alone face' and said with faked horror in his voice:

"A whole _cookie_?"

"With chocolate chips!" Tony added urgently. "Don't forget the addition of the finest _Belgium_ product money can buy! I wouldn't go for any other!"

"And with _Belgium_ originated _chocolate_ _chips_?" Bruce pretended to look terrified. "Dear me, I am _really_ sorry you missed out on trying such divine cuisine because of my ignorance, Mr.-Tony!"

Tony smiled at the fellow billionaire's attempts at playing along, not everyone had the childishness, not to mention patience, in them to do that and he admired Bruce for even trying.

"You _should_ be sorry, Brucie." The inventor of the Iron Man suit pointed an accusing finger at the Wayne heir 'Phoenix Wight' style. "That was probably the _bestest_ cookie ever _baked_ , so you have to make it up to me with something equally tasty and mind-blowing." He paused for the additional dramatic effect. "Like finally allowing my merry men to enter your territory and making your 'creepy-crawly' city a little less 'creepy-crawly' and a bit more 'flashy-brighty', with a great big, 'shining bright like diamond' 'Stark Tower' in the middle of it."

Bruce blinked, so _this_ is what Stark was after.

"No!" Batman's alter-ego moved away dramatically. "You want me to-to finally acknowledge the concept of *shudders* _sharing_?!"

"Yes!" Tony decided to continue their playful banter finding it to be rather fun. "It's time to bring some sunlight to the legendary 'Vampire City'!" He paused. "Let there be _light_ , Brucie!" He then added with an almost adorable pout. "For the lost cookie, Brucie."

The Golden Boy of Gotham gave a defeated sight worthy of the best actor in Hollywood.

"Very well." He said afterwards, straightening his ruffled ninja armor. "I suppose _that_ would compensate the lost _baked good_."

Tony was so happy he pumped his fist in the air.

The two billionaires then shook hands and were about to take out the documents necessary, to make the agreement legal when…

Alfred spoke for the first time.

"I must say, my two Masters, watching the two of you interact, one might mistake the two of you for brothers."

Only Bruce saw the knowing glint in his butler's eyes as he smiled at them.


	5. Chapter 5

"Almost Identical Twins."

Chapter 5

"Alfred's revelation."

"Why do I think there is more to that sentence than you imply, Alfred?" Bruce asked seemingly nonchalant, though his blue eyes were narrowing. There was something his trusty butler was implying that disagreed with everything he believed in up to this point.

"Just making a casual observation, Master Wayne." The loyal servant answered shrugging.

 _Liar_. The Bat sneered in the back of Bruce's mind. _A casual observer wouldn't compare me and Tony to 'brothers', more like two childhood friends, as we aren't acting nearly as comfortable around each other as real siblings would_. _There is no real affection in our_ _interaction, just plain fun. Plus, the remaining presence of the soft grin and twinkling in his eyes further disproves his statement._

"If you say so, Alfred."

 _Yes_. Bruce thought, the detective parts of his brain analyzing the given clues. _There is definitely more to it_.

If Tony realized something was up with his fellow billionaire's butler, he didn't show it. He simply grinned his trademark 'I-could-buy-you-if-I-wanted-to' rich kid smile and watched the interaction between Bruce and Alfred, before deciding to cut in like the spoiled little brat that he is.

"Say, Brucie…" The owner of Stark Industries began in a questioning tone while walking up to the nearest portrait hanging on the wall. "Out of sheer curiosity…why aren't _you_ on the picture along with your mom and dad?" This random question made the man behind the Bat mask blink. "I mean, I can understand why you wouldn't _want_ to be on one, but normally the parents would _insist_ on a family picture, no matter _how_ boring its creation is. It's made even stranger seeing that your cousin Emile from your mother's side, twice removed, is right up there with his parents. " He stopped, a thoughtful look on his bearded face. "Actually, now that I think about it, I'm pretty sure the _more_ boring something is the more _adamant_ they are to _make_ you participate."

From the look of Alfred's face Bruce could tell this was _just_ the question he was waiting for, for the loyal servant of the Wayne family was smiling wilder than when he finally took his place as the boss of Wayne Enterprises, on his eighteenth birthday.

"Funny you should mention that, Master Stark." The British man said the grin not leaving his face. "Yes it is true, Master Wayne hasn't been featured with his parents in this portrait like his cousin." He smiled wider. "And there is a good reason for that."

Bruce didn't like where this was heading, not so soon after the previous talk.

"Was I too small?" He asked testily though the Bat inside his mind was already deducing everything he could about Alfred…until Bruce was forced to cut _off_ the detective side of his brain for coming to truly _outrageous_ conclusions like 'he was adopted' and so forth.

 _Preposterous_. The man behind the Batman mask inwardly scoffed. He's a Wayne through and through, he doesn't have to make a blood comparison with that of his deceased parents, to know that.

Where did that _ridiculous_ idea even _come_ from? A _random_ absence of his person on a family portrait?

He shook his head.

Such an _amateur_ conclusion…

His old master, the famous Sherlock Holmes, would have _laughed_ in his _face_ if he saw him now.

 _Really_ …he should stop _over-deducing_ his butler, its putting his mind in bigger shambles than one of Riddler's harder riddles.

Bruce let out a silent chuckle. Just wait till _Joker_ hears about this, rather _bizarre_ , new weakness of his. Though to _him_ it may not seem bizarre at _all_ , things rarely seem wired to that godforsaken clown, he'd probably just think it's _cute_.

And then Alfred decided to answer the question he posted a few musings earlier, and erase _everything_ the Wayne boy established earlier to reassure himself of his real heritage.

"No, Mr. Wayne." The butler spoke. "You had exactly five years, four months and seven days when this portrait was made. Old enough to be on such a piece of art had your presence been required."

Bruce just stared.

 _Did he just-?_ The billionaire shook his head rigorously. _No…That's **impossible**_ , _there is no **way**_. _It can't be what he's insinuating, can it?!_

"And that, my dear Bruce, is because you didn't _belong_ there."

The Dark Knight paled watching his butler as if he grew an extra head on his back.

 _He dropped the 'Master Wayne' part_. Batman swallowed. _Dear God, he's really **going there** , isn't he? _

"You belong on a different family tree, Bruce." Alfred placed a soft hand on the younger man's shoulder, trying to soften the blow that was soon to come. "Along with your _twin brother_ , Tony Stark."

This brought two different reactions from the, now declared twins.

One was starting at the butler white as a sheet of paper and blue eyes as wide as plates…

While the _other_ had a hyena-style grin plastered on his face that had the strength to outshine the sun.

This won't end well…


	6. Chapter 6

"Almost Identical Twins."

Chapter 6

"Acceptance (except not really)."

"This is _amazing_!"

"You can't be _serious_!"

"I have a twin!"

"There is no _way_ the two of us are in _anyway_ related!"

"I always _knew_ we were connected somehow! We're so _alike_ I can't _believe_ I haven't noticed it sooner!"

"I mean, open your _eyes_ Alfred! We have absolutely _nothing_ in common!"

"We both have black hair-"

"He sports a beard-"

"Both of our eyes are blue-"

"My nose is longer-"

"We're both playboy billionaires that _enjoy_ life-"

"My playboy lifestyle is a façade-"

"Our parents left us pretty early-"

"His parents _weren't_ killed before his eyes-"

"And we _both_ enjoy playing with technology that's _way_ beyond everyone else!"

"My suits don't _fly_!"

"We're _totally_ brothers!"

"We _can't_ be brothers!"

While the two billionaires talked over each other about what he just revealed to them, Alfred simply stood there with a hand covering his chuckling mouth.

The complete _opposite_ reactions they had to the news, were almost too _adorable_ to watch.

Where Tony accepted the fact with almost child-like happiness and enthusiasm, practically bouncing at the concept of having a brother, _Bruce_ , on the other hand, rejected the idea with every _cell_ in his body, not wanting to think about what this revelation will end up doing with his life.

Or what little was left of it, anyway.

"Holly Mother of _Vodka_ , I really _do_ have a twin!" The not-so-lonely-anymore Stark squealed after pinching himself. "This isn't _just_ a crazy dream I have after drinking too much with Wolverine and I truly _do_ have a brother!"

"No you _don't_!" Bruce sneered at him spitefully. "And _stop_ listening to Alfred! He'll clearly _delusional_!" Yes, that was it! Joker _kidnapped_ his trusty butler while he was on his daily meeting regarding his company funds, and pumped him full of some kind of timed _venom_ that makes him think nonsense regarding false parenthoods and out-of-nowhere brotherhoods, whenever he and the red-and-gold loving hero are in the same room!

"Tell me, Al." But Tony was lost in his pretty little world where all his childhood dreams, that he thought were long since forgotten, are coming true. "Which of us is the older twin? We couldn't have come out together."

"Oh for the love of _God_ -"

"You were the first one to come into our world kicking and screaming into high heavens, Master Tony."

"Oh now you're just being _ridiculous_! There is no way _he_ could have been the first one to leave-"

"So not _only_ do I have a _sibling_ , but it's a ' _baby_ ' brother?!"

"What have I _told you_ about _listening_ to _Alfred_?! Can't you see he's not _himself_?!"

"I believe so, Master Tony."

"And _you_! You shut _up_! I won't have you continuing this preposterous discussion _any longer_!"

"Oh my _God_! I'm a big _brother_! Of a real _person_ this time, and not to some Tamagotchi pet I found in some other kid's backpack, like back in second grade!"

"Tony if you keep _ignoring_ me like that I will have _no_ choice _but_ to _smack_ you across the _head_!"

"Master Bruce seems to be a bit _livelier_ than a children's toy, yes. Though, I must say, he requires the same level of intense care it does."

"Does the phrase 'shut up' somehow _elude_ you, Alfred?! And I can take care of myself just _fine_ , thank you very _much_!"

"Oh dear Moi, how many ovens did lil'Brucie _burn_ trying to play 'cook', Al? I know I did at least ten…"

"Then you were a lot _clumsier_ than me! The biggest damage _I ever did_ to the kitchen was breaking the _toaster._ And with good reason, I must add. It burned my pop tart, so it was already broken before I got my hands on it."

"I believe this young man's count was…about two, Master Tony."

"What?!"

"O-ho-ho. Looks like _someone_ was trying a bit too hard to impress his parents."

"The first one was a faulty from the moment my father plugged it in! When the _Hell_ did the second one happen, if I wasn't allowed anywhere _near_ one ever _again_?!"

"Indeed his trying was very hard, Master Tony. _So_ hard in fact that the poor oven _exploded_ , along with the ungodly _concoction_ that was _supposed_ to be a _cake._ "

And with that simple explanation, Bruce remembered.

So did his ears, apparently, for they were now colored pink.

"I thought we _agreed_ to _never_ mention this incident ever _again_ , Alfred!"

"Ahahahahah! Oh my _god,_ that was _rich_ what you just told me, Alfie! Man, I knew we boy geniuses were bad at _cooking,_ but I never thought _any_ of us could be _that_ bad! How hard was it to _follow_ a simple _recipe_?!"

"I was _five_! You hear me?! _Five_! And my parents _never_ used _cooking_ books!"

"Before this…rather unfortunate event, Master Bruce had never been inside the kitchen without either his adoptive mother or father and they, he is correct in this statement, only cooked dishes they knew by heart."

"See? That's exactly what I told you earlier and-Wait, what do you mean ' _adoptive_ '?! I thought I _told you,_ you're _delusional_!"

"Anything else I have to watch out for once I take him to the Star Tower? I already know to tell J.A.R.V.I.S that the kitchen is _absolutely_ off limits, unless I am there with him."

" _You_ are not taking me _anywhere_ and _Alfred_ is telling you _squat_! In _fact_ , _both_ of you should shut _up_!"

"I also wouldn't let him near your closets and basements. Their dark exteriors attract him like nothing else and he might be tempted to stay there for an unspecified amount of time, and ignore the rest of the world."

"I swear to _God_ , Alfred, _one more word_ and I'll have you sent to _Arkham Asylum_ with a special not to the staff to place you right next to the insane and deadly _clown_!"

"So no kitchens and no dark rooms, got it. Should I also kiss him goodnight while am at it?"

At that Bruce smacked him.

Hard.


End file.
